Still Here…

Hi, I’m still here and have plans to continue blogging. So much for 2013 goals. 😦 Life has just hit a wee bit of a bump in the proverbial road. Trying to sort some things out. My husband’s health had not been doing well last week, then he fell Friday before this past one. He had a compression fracture in his spine. It would’ve been quite enough to handle, but things started to get worse.

We went back to the ER the next day, Saturday, and he was admitted to the hospital. It was a combination of multiple things including dehydration, pneumonia, exacerbation of COPD, and heart issues as well. Everything since the fall has happened so fast. Thankfully he was discharged late Tuesday.

There is truly no place like home, but now there are new issues we are having to figure out. He’s on oxygen for the first time ever. Home health is sending a nurse and physical therapy out a couple of times a week for a while. Hopefully things will improve, but for now things are a little crazy around here.

I’ve been so tired, I haven’t done much writing. I did write in my journal last night and it felt sooo good. Needed to unload a bit. Life will start settling into it’s own rhythm soon and I’ll start writing more. For now, would so love to have just maybe  a couple of hours undisturbed sleep.

Praying for Sleep

* This was written based on the Inspiration Monday prompt over on the Be Kind Rewrite blog. *

Restlessly she tossed in the bed. She reached over to the nightstand and pressed the button on her cell phone – 2:00am. Another night of trouble finding sleep. She used to never have trouble sleeping.

So many things were different from how they used to be. She used to sleep in his arms. Now he was lying a foot away, not touching, back turned to her, and snoring. It wasn’t the snoring keeping her from sleep. She had gotten used to it years ago. Part of the problem was the distance in more than just physical proximity.

The physical part wasn’t his fault. For the last several years his health had been declining. He felt pain everyday and even minimal activity made him short of breath. She knew it was hard for him to get comfortable, but she still missed him holding her.

It was a small wonder there was an emotional distance as well. His day-to-day focus had shifted to the necessities simply required for living life. She knew it had to be hard to focus on anything else when he had trouble breathing even sitting still and he tired so easily.

She had to stay in the present as well. Everyday she tried to make sure he ate, gave him his medicines including the inhalers, and tried to make him comfortable. She missed being able to dream. It hurt too much to dream and life was too uncertain. The busyness usually at least kept her from thinking too much, which kept away the fear.

Tonight she was afraid though and it was keeping her from sleep. Afraid of him dying and afraid of the future. Silent tears streamed down her face as she closed her eyes praying for sleep.

(I welcome any comments or feedback.  Fiction is not something I write often.)