A Caregiver’s Heart

Here’s a poem using some of the words from Wordle 105 over at The Sunday Whirl blog.  Poetry is where my melancholy heart has been drawn to as of late.

As good as heart can wish (Photo credit: harold.lloyd)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Losing my resilience
Like a spring
Wound a bit much
Harder to bounce back
Feeling out of touch
Hanging onto promises
With thread bare hope
Searching for shelter
Needing a way to cope
Seeking some solace
Against this torrential rain
A life flowing too fast
Yet remaining
Too much the same
A caregiver’s heart
Travels a difficult road
Trying to prevent
Burnout and overload
Must endure till the end
Many are the pieces
To this heavy load
Tasks breed like rabbits
Sleep is interrupted again
Unable to dream
There are days with no end
Yet consider all of this
Time well spent
Compassion and love
Worth much more
Than mountains of gold
To comfort another
Offer a hand to hold
To stay the course
And reach our goal
There is many a thing
Helpful to be remembered
Not often enough told
Always grasp for hope
So big for four small letters
Take care of yourself
Or how can you give to others
Keep singing your heart’s song
Don’t let it fly away
Life’s a whirlwind dance
Take part at every chance
There will be an after
This journey will end
Time will yet reveal
Now is in moments
Feelings much too real

Related articles

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• For Better Or For Worse-Taking Care Of A Spouse With A Chronic Disease Or Disability (monarcaresblog.com)

Poetry of the Heart

Here’s a poem I wrote using words from
Wordle 104 over at The Sunday Whirl blog :

Far Away Shore

So often I get close to the shore
Yet it’s never quite within reach
So much is beyond my control
Surpassing my threshold of grief
Swallowed in an ocean of tears
Tainted with whispers of fears
Tears retreat to a hesitant flow
Yet still I keep sinking far below
There is a shift in the currents
Turning from sorrow to apathy
Becoming skeptical of this life
Losing more of the inner me
Fleeing heart’s pain for relief
Burying emotions hidden deep
Take a sigh and try to unwind
Search the waters for meaning
Remnants of the long faded past
Drifting afloat in ocean’s embrace
Pleading emotions to resurface
Pain preferred to hollow peace
Anything to replace the nothing
Confrontation rather than fleeing
To taste again the salt of my tears
To escape the ocean’s grasp
Shores of hope I may one day reach
Joy revealed before I breathe my last

Ocean Waves

Raining Again

Here’s a poem I wrote using many of the words from  the wordle 98 prompt over at The Sunday Whirl blog.

Rainy Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some days it hits
Somber feelings
With no warning
Just in an instant
Magically appearing
My heart trapped
An unavoidable snare
Seeing but not
Wearing glasses
No rose tinting
Clouds and rain
Only visible sight
No rainbows after
No heart skipping
No joyful delight
I try escaping
Know I am blessed
Yet in everything
There is unbalance
There is not rest
Trying in earnest
Despite all my might
Cannot find wings
To free my heart
Let it take flight

Letting Go

* This is a poem I wrote from the prompting post over at dverse Poets Pub on the art of letting go. *

Let live and let be
Easy enough motto it seems
Letting go is much harder
Yet, I’ve let go of so many things …
Love drifted away
Floating on a sea of tears
Bright lives faded to dim
Those I once held so dear
Motherhood snuck away in a blink
Daughter turned woman
In less time than you’d think
Life like the leaves
Swirling away in the wind
Took dreams and hopes
Thought would never end
I’ve let go of so many things
Releasing freely, unable to hold
Bending to natural forces
Learning to let go
A most difficult lesson
Trial by fire it quite seems
Letting go without losing myself
Forgetting how to dream
An ember escaped the ashes
Kindling to ignite my heart
Letting go doesn’t mean
Letting everything depart

Dandelion wind (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Waiting

The Passage of Time (Photo credit: ToniVC)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life at a standstill
No going forward
No going back
Eternity of the in between
Not disillusioned with false hope of past
Not wishing life to fade quite so fast
Each day goes on
Passing without moving
Stillness in the in between
Thoughts have been lost
Dreams no longer dreamed
Words find no meaning
Surrendered to the deep
Indeterminable depth of the in between
Waiting is endless
Time loses meaning
Here in the in between

(A melancholy poem but at least a poem…I’m slowly beginning to write again…this aptly describes where I am.)

Fresh Start to 2013

Image of a modern fountain pen writing in cursive script. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here’s hoping 2013 will be a better year. I’m recharged and planning to leave the past in the past. I’m ready to make a fresh start in 2013. This will mean some changes, so please be patient with me.

I will be playing around with my blog a little(already changed the theme today). Just trying some new things out. Will take some time till I get things comfortable and sorted out. It’s like rearranging furniture.

I’m trying to motivate myself as well, so I guess creating some goals are the way to go. I’ve given this some thought. I did try to make sure I have realistic goals, so I don’t set myself up for failure. A big part of being realistic is knowing I have a bit of a chaotic life most of the time. Without further adieu, here are the goals…

Writing Goals for 2013 :
(will be doing more writing than this, but it’s a start)
1. Blog twice a week(continued from 2012-failed last year )

2. Read 2 books per month

3. Complete the 100k in 100 days Challenge(read more about over at Quiller’s Place or 100k in 100 days facebook group)

4. Find and join a local writer’s group

5. Finish poetry book

6. Work on revamping blog a bit

Feel free to share your thoughts and maybe some of your goals for 2013…

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Sweet Treats

Christmas

I have a few treats to share today. My sweetest treat is my first official poem has been published at The Barefoot Review in the Winter 2012 issue. I hope you’ll pop over and read it.

I’ve also been nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award from Vikki over at The View Outside blog. Not doing it properly yet, will try to do catch up, but wanted to take time to say “Thank You”. I know some beautiful bloggers I’d like to nominate too.

Another sweet treat, I discovered yesterday over at the Mere Inkling blog, while reading about personal libraries.  There’s an offer to send off for 10 free letterpress bookmarks, just at the cost of an envelope and SASE. You can find out more about the offer over at Peach Farm Studio. It expires soon, requests have to be there by December 31st.

The last sweet treat is the recipe for my now official favorite treat…decadent chocolate meringues. I have to make more as we ate the first batch. These are really easy to make. I use my kitchen mixer to whip them up as I’ve never had success whipping egg whites by hand. The mixer makes quick work of it.

Put 2 egg whites, 1/4 tsp. cream of tartar, a pinch of salt, and 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract in the mixer bowl. Beat till soft peaks form, then gradually add in 2 Tbsp. cocoa powder and 1/2 cup of sugar, beating till stiff peaks form. May take about 7 or 8 minutes.

Drop by teaspoonfuls on a baking sheet. I try to swirl it around with the spoon and leave it with a nice pretty peak on top. Bake at 225 degrees for 1 1/2 hours. These last a long time and are great for gift giving to the chocolate lovers in your life.

 

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas!!!

This and That

I’m still crafting, crocheting, and baking as Christmas is fast approaching. This means my writing temporarily takes a side seat. I’m still writing, just not as much. Thought I’d share a few things today, hence the title, so here’s a little of this and that.

I started reading a good book yesterday. The funny thing is I didn’t realize it was the same author of another book I had read till I got started. It’s a memoir titled Barnheart : The Incurable Longing for a Farm of One’s Own by Jenna Woginrich. The other book she wrote that I read is Made from Scratch.

The book is about her homesteading adventures, which of course intrigues me as I love homesteading. She has quite a sense of humor and writes with the blatant honesty I adore. Loved her apt description of chickens. I already read a little over 50 pages and can’t wait to get back to it.

This month also seems to be a month for poetry. It’s something I don’t write all the time, just when the moment strikes me. I seem to write more of it when I’m in a sad mood for some reason. Why can’t I just write happy optimistic poetry? Maybe one day. Though the one I shared does have some optimism.

Poetry appeals to me, because it allows you to say much using only a few words.  The feelings are there even when I’m too tired, more emotionally than physically tired, to write pages worth of my thoughts. It’s an easier way to speak my heart. This is a short one from yesterday. It may not be finished. Seems to need more.

Hope’s Flight

Hope flies on wings
Fragile as a butterfly’s
It’s such a delicate thing
Lifted on the winds of dreams
Inspires soaring higher
Seeking life’s passions and desires

Butterfly (Photo credit: fox_kiyo)

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a last thought. I was going through some of my many scraps of paper
I end up writing on and found a quote I had wrote down. It’s one of those that just make me so inspired, not just in writing, but living. Such inspiration is a desperate need in my life right now.

“I wished to live my precious time upon this earth deliberately, so that when my life was over, I would not discover that I had not truly lived.” – Henry David Thoreau

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Tell Me Lies

Lovers embracing on the beach at sundown / sunset on Morro Strand State Beach 10 Jan 2010 (Photo credit: mikebaird)

Hold me in warm embrace
Tenderly sweep the tears from my face
Tell me lies I long to hear
Lift my spirits and ease my fears
Tell me life will not always be this way
Make my worries drift away
Allow illusion if only today
Happiness, even if momentary facade
Tell me everything will be okay
Close my eyes
Remember how to smile
Hold onto comfort
If only a little while

 

 

* A poem….longings…wishes…dreams…and all sorts of other mythical things… (will have to work on the more optimistic)

 

 

 

 

Just Driving Along

Mountains Along the Drive

It’s been a long week, but there have been some good points to it.  Here are the highlights.  I can now say, “officially” the longest drive I have ever driven by myself is about 8 hours.  It was to Tennessee this past Friday.  Once there, I was able to give my daughter a big hug for the first time in over a month and I was able to see one of my wonderful friends I had not seen in a long time.  The best news is my daughter is now back home in North Carolina.  We love calling North Carolina home.  There is much to be said for family, friends, and home.

This detour is not unusual.  My life has been full of detours in the last ten years.  I’m just getting a little better at accepting the detours, learning a little, and continuing the drive along the highways of life.  I just wish the journey wasn’t so rough sometimes and the rest stops to relax could last a bit longer.  I’m tired, but I keep plodding along.  (I found out kicking and screaming really didn’t work to well! )

The writing journey continues as well, though the past couple of weeks it’s slowed down to more the speed of driving through town than on the interstate.  I’ve journaled quite a bit and enjoy being able to say anything in my journal.  It’s my “safe” place.  There’s security in the fact no one can judge me in my journal and no one can stop me from saying anything(just myself).

My other writing has primarily been a few poems and working on my memoir.  My main WIP, the memoir, has now reached over 30K words.  It’s nearing completion, meaning the story is about done being told regardless of the word count.  I have a few ideas of a couple of things I want to include at the end of the book that I need to work on though.

Just wanted to say hi.  I miss blogging and will try to share more again soon.  I’ve been reading some wonderful books I’d love to tell you about as well. In the mean time here’s something you can check out I’ve just begun discovering called Evernote.  I’m still exploring it.  It allows you to have digital notes and notebooks.  Just a few of the things I’ve found I like are you can access your files on multiple devices, share files with others, and email files to your self.  It may end up being a favorite.

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